Friday, May 16, 2003
What is that emptiness i feel...
this...this non-feeling
as i listen to strains of music float in the still night-air?
a feeling unspeakable, undescribable,
because it is no feeling?
but a lack of a feeling, rather?
Why is it that i still stare at the empty space
the air...
when i know all there is there,
is just a mirage...
an illusion
in my disillusioned mind.
all i can feel
in these few feelingless days
is this thirst in my fatigued, burning mind --
a thirst only quenched
by basking in the dreamworld
by being veiled in illusions.
(not exactly meant to be a poem anyway. i was just writing, then decided to break it apart in short sentences and it turned out to have a freeverse structure.)
.::SnOWROse::.||5/16/2003 07:10:00 AM
i completed a new poem! due to laziness, i shall post it here for the time being, after which i shall post it in the Poems section, which is still not linked yet, but which you can access by going to http://www34.brinkster.com/snowyrose/poems.htm
Painted Dolls
Feathers drifting, slowly, down,
music playing, on the gramophone..
Coloured bulbs twinkling, by itself
on a discarded, Christmas tree.
Come enter now, curious child,
bid your soft footsteps into this
dark toystore.
Behold the dolls—
the painted dolls,
lined up on the shelves, row after row,
smiling with their red, painted lips—
an eternal, fake, forced smile.
Look at their twinkling, bright blue eyes!
Staring at you, they are naught
but empty, coloured, glass eyes.
Come now, look closely!
Can you see their tears—
or any traces of it?
Can you see their agony—
or any scars of hurt?
No, you would never see those. On dolls.
They were only made
to smile
a fake, fake, smile.
You ask why,
but who would have wanted
a crying doll,
with real feelings, and a soul?
Think again, my little friend.
You made the dolls the way they are.
Lin Qintan
3rd May 2003
For all the dolls out there in this hypocritical world.
.::SnOWROse::.||5/16/2003 06:59:00 AM
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
Blea, long time never blog. Haha, anyway, on Mother’s Day, I gave my mom a weaved rattan (which looks very wooden) basket of rose-pink roses, and my sis folded little paper stars and we studded them in between the roses. Then I sprinkled some dried lavender into the rose-petals so that they smelled nice, and I tied a little pink ribbon on the handle of the basket, and gave it to Mom after giving her a hug! That moment was really heart-warming, especially when she smiled at the little gift. I love my Mom! I guess I was much closer to her after that day, when I resolved some issues with her. Haha. But now I think she’s a really great Mom!
So anyway, for Public Speaking, I screwed up my speech!!! Haha dunno but I was quite nervous, because half the time I was wondering whether the mike was working, because I couldn’t seem to hear my voice projected by the mike, so I kept gripping it tensely. In the process, my script went from being held at waist level, higher and higher, till it covered my face! Then I realized this and quickly put it down again. LOL. Eck. But well. I just don’t have that kind of powerful voice like Michy la. Sigh. Haha. Anyway while the Lemon Tree was playing I was tapping my fingers to the rhythm and kept laughing because…Because! Haha. I just couldn’t help laughing, I guess. LOL. Blea, but anyway after the presentation people started queueing up to ask questions LOL, then thankfully Lis screamt, “EXCUSE ME!!! The Q&A session has ENDED!!!” and it was all so funny LOL. But in the end, rgs won, and 2nd went to VS, and 3rd went to ACSI. Ms Choo told us we were really close to getting 3rd, but well, we tried. That’s it. Haha. Yeah! =)
Today was Wednesday, and we (maine, nat, and I) were, as usual, competing to see who finished our math questions first. Haha. Competitive huh. LOL. But it was really funny coz when Nat was saying something like, “no! you ask me later! You’ll slow me down and they’ll catch up!” hahaha! Then after that was dance. Wuf choreographed this dance which was very para-para in theme, and it was kinda…funny? LOL. Yea! *grins* then after a while it was Chinese. And then they were talking about the Geog result sheet we got back, and Nat started poking me with a pen and then correction liquid. Then maine and jean collaborated and grabbed my hands so I couldn’t poke back. Then after that I took my blue ink pen for defence while she held her green leaky ink pen. Then He Laoshi (our HCL teacher) looked over and was asking Nat whether she was trying to murder me. Haha. Quite true. But at any rate, it was much better than Nat taking her pen-knife out of her pencil-case and lengthening the blade and waving it around at maine and me (coz we were saying something about nat being ms Choo’s secret admirer LOL!) haha. And then we had the class party. Delicious food! Yum! Haha. After that was the geog mock exam, which I didn’t bother (or rather, didn’t have time) to study AT ALL!!!! Oh sigh. At least it’ll let me gauge how much absorb during normal lessons haha. Or whether all these stuff goes in one ear and goes out the other. After geog I went back to class, we started practicing the dance steps, to no avail as we had completely forgotten the moves, and then Renyi’s mom fetched me and Ren back to our estate. Haha. That’s the day! =)
.::SnOWROse::.||5/14/2003 07:17:00 AM
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